What is a Funeral Arrangement Meeting?
A funeral arrangement meeting is when you sit down with a funeral director to plan the service. It usually happens after a loved one passes away, although you can also have one if you plan your own funeral in advance.
The funeral director’s job is to help arrange every part of the service. Meeting with them lets you cover all of the key details, including:
- Setting a date
- Choosing a venue
- Talking about costs (or explaining what a funeral plan covers if there is one)
- Discussing personal touches
The meeting should take one to two hours, but your funeral director will be led by you. There is no time limit to an arrangement meeting, and you can go at your own pace. The meeting should be warm, supportive, and make something that could be intimidating or upsetting as simple as possible.
Your funeral director
Your funeral director is the guiding hand at the heart of the funeral. They understand what’s needed, so they can handle and help with paperwork and other requirements. They are also there to listen to your wishes and make them happen, helping you through what can be a difficult time.
While they are experts and will take the lead where you want them to, it’s you who is in charge. Funeral directors are there to guide and support, never to rush things or add pressure. The arrangement meeting is there to help you understand and steer what will happen, with a funeral director’s help.
What to bring: essential documents and details
Your funeral director will let you know what to expect at the meeting and tell you anything you can bring along.
It can be useful to bring some specific things such as:
- A certificate for burial or cremation (a green form you receive when registering the death)
- Pre-paid funeral plan instructions, if one was taken out
- Clothing for the deceased
If a loved one has died recently, this can be an overwhelming time, and our guide to what to do first explains exactly what to do first, including registering the death.
You can speak to the funeral director before the death is registered if you want their support. Registering the death is an important early step because it lets you set a date, and your funeral director can help you understand what to do.
If your loved one had a funeral plan and you are using the funeral director named in it, they should already have lots of details. Don’t worry if you don’t think you have all the paperwork, the funeral director can get the plan’s details for you in this situation.
Personalising the funeral service
One thing you will do at the arrangement meeting is tell your funeral director what kind of funeral you want.
Religious ceremonies
Sometimes the biggest thing to talk about is whether you will be having a religious ceremony. Many faiths have set traditions or expectations about what happens at a funeral, and that can help you understand what to expect.
Music and readings
Poems, memorial speeches, hymns and religious readings are just some of the ways you can remember loved ones at their funeral. These readings also help make the funeral service more personal.
Musical choices can be very memorable and important. Whether a favourite hymn, a pop song from their youth, or a mix of different styles, funeral directors can help to arrange a unique soundtrack.
The venue
Other choices you make can help decide where the ceremony takes place. If there is a cremation, the ceremony generally also happens at the crematorium. The venue can also affect the date itself. Funerals are often held on weekends, and the date can depend on finding a time that works.
Choosing a venue also means thinking about whether you want any other event or celebration of life outside of the funeral. People often meet up just after the ceremony itself. In the case of direct cremation, people can choose to have this event instead of the funeral ceremony, at a date they choose themselves.
Size of ceremony
The attendance you want at a funeral is also a personal decision. Unattended direct cremations have especially become more popular: they now make up a fifth of UK funerals, up from just 3% in 2019*. These are simple, no fuss cremations that don’t have family or friends in attendance – although people can still have a separate remembrance event.
Your funeral director can go through all of the options, from unattended direct cremations to traditional funerals, and even larger celebrations of life that go further than the funeral ceremony itself. It all depends on you or your loved one’s wishes.
Understanding funeral costs and payments
Funeral directors will be completely transparent about costs, and will provide a clear, line by line explanation. The arrangement meeting is part of how they do this.
The meeting is a safe space to discuss what you need, including your budget. A funeral director will be sensitive to your needs, helping to make sure the final send-off is both meaningful and affordable.
This part can be a bit easier when a pre-paid funeral plan is in place. Then, the funeral director will go through what the plan means, and that the funeral director services covered in the plan will be paid for already.
You can expect to make your payment after the funeral, although with third party costs some deposits might be needed beforehand. Here too, the funeral director can work with you and let you know what to expect.
What comes next
Funeral directors are there to support families through the whole process. Beforehand with funeral planning, at the time of a bereavement, and after the funeral too. They can help with questions like what to do with ashes, and share bereavement support services for people who are looking for extra help.
You don’t need to think about these things right after the funeral, but your funeral director is still there afterwards, ready to help when questions come up.
Planning ahead for your own peace of mind
When you take out a pre-paid funeral plan with Golden Charter, you choose a local, independent funeral director who will ultimately carry out the funeral. You can always contact the funeral director before or after you take out a plan: a ‘pre-need’ arrangement meeting can involve making the purchase, or take place after you have bought your plan to discuss the details.
To discuss funeral plans with your local funeral director, look for the Golden Charter seal or search for one in your local area.
You can also talk directly to our friendly UK-based team, here to answer your questions from 9am-5pm, Monday to Friday. Give them a call, free, on 0800 090 2258. If you're ready to buy a plan, you can also call our team or buy online.
